librarian novel seniors

World of Magic

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The ‘Look’ Challenge

 

 

 Cindy Nord tagged me in the LOOK Challenge and then Kathleen Rice Adams ‘encouraged’ me to post soon and share!  The Look Challenge reminds us to be aware of overused words and replace them with something more appropriate as well as a chance to share our current WIP.

 

The rules of the Challenge require the tagged authors to find the first occurrence of “look” in their work in progress. We then post that ‘look’ and the surrounding snippet of that scene. Next we have to tag an unspecified number of friends. Here’s a short snippet from my current WIP, Awaken.

 

This WIP is the one I have been posting in my Six Sentence Sunday posts the past few weeks. Satori Winters must return home to Starlight Cove to help find her missing mother. The first appearance of ‘look’ is in the prologue, the next in the 1st chapter/1st sentence! I’m posting both snippets since it took me so long to post for this challenge.

 

Prologue:

 

The night exhaled through the fresh leaves. Tori twirled through the tall elderberry hedges eager to play with her garden friends. The white petals of the jasmine stars fluttered open and awakened the moondrop fairies from their nests, their giggle glowing in the night sky.

 

A cool ethereal mist dropped down from the face of the full moon and swirled over the mirrored surface of the pond. It lingered, dancing in the moonbeams.

 

Mom’s golden light blinked off upstairs. Tori couldn’t wait to see what magical gifts were going to be offered to the garden tonight. Mama and she always looked forward to this special time together when they could share the full moon gifts. Tori couldn’t wait to sing to them. The window bellowed open.

 

A swarm of puffy blue dragons descended into the garden and hummed like fuzzy bumble bees all around her.

 

 

Chapter One:

 

The purple stained cells looked like spilled tears. Tori Winters eased back from the microscope and rubbed her eyes. Twelve-hour days were exhausting. Make that five twelve-hour days in a row.

Wouldn’t you know a five year old would offer the most challenging case to end the day? Lord knows they stick everything in their mouths. And then they refuse to talk about what they stuck in there, which means running a plethora of tests. And now, even his poop wasn’t talking about what was making him sick. Why couldn’t he have swallowed a quarter or eaten a bug? Five year olds and their darn imaginations. What was making this kid sick?

 

Now I challenge ~

Sarah Fox

Nicole Bates

Jess Macallan

Cathy Givans

 

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Maryellen

I weave myth, magic and fairy tales into my paranormal novels. I would rather spend my days with sirens and shapeshifters than live in the real world.

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10 Responses to The ‘Look’ Challenge

  • Lyn Horner says:

    Delightful excertps, Maryellen! Makes me want to find out what’s making the kid sick. And what a beautiful site you have here!

  • Cindy Nord says:

    Ooooh, Maryellen…you captivated me with wispy enchantment & then hooked me with the imminent threat of a child. WELL DONE. I didn’t even notice the ‘look’.

    Cindy

    • Maryellen says:

      Cindy, Your comments mean the world to me 🙂 A best seller likes my writing 🙂 <3 Thank you so much for the challenge.

      Congratulations on all your success with No Greater Glory!
      so happy for you!

  • Mae Clair says:

    I’ve never heard of this particular challenge, but I’m glad you took part, so you could share these passages. The lyrical prose and beautiful images of your prologue passage took my breath away. Then the daily reality of the opening chapter rooted me firmly in every day. WOW! Awesome, Maryellen!

  • Maryellen, your prologue is lyrical. Such beautiful, transportive imagery — so like a child’s imagination, with all its joy and wonder and refusal to believe anything is impossible.

    Juxtaposed with the real world language and imagery of adulthood in the first chapter, this has some real power. Already I want to get to know Tori; to see how much of the wide-eyed little girl remains in the scientist she became.

    Nice, nice work!

  • Great snippets Maryellen! I could imagine the scenes clearly and I’m intrigued. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the tag!

  • Ginger says:

    Prologue is a warm fuzzy. “Let’s get down to business”.
    Great read.

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